Ruach Elohim: The Wind That Blows My Mind.

Most of the time I'm trapped in time. But more and more I find mySelf free from the constraint of time with its tick-tock of twoness. Time is duality, and when I'm in it I'm separate and separated from Oneness. In non-duality I am not separate but unified. So, how to escape the trap of time?... where I feel contracted, alone, and con-fused. "I have the power to lay down my life and take it up again." Said Christ. Without this conscious power or ability to let go of this earthly life I can never escape time's twoness.
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I must gain the knowledge to live and die. Most people have neither; for example, if I'm obsessed with money, and work all the time to get it, then I may not be really living my life. I don't understand that life is not primarily about money, possessions, home ownership, etc. To really live I must experience the life-force or Holy Spiration that blows through me freely. In the Old Bible it is called Ruach Elohim (God's breath). Jesus called it the "Wind" that bloweth where it pleases. In Greek it is pneuma (breath, wind) and so at seminary priests study pneumatology, the study of the Holy Spirit. We experience this life-force in our bodies as libido. Libido is the unconscious manifestation of the Holy Spirit striving for Union. Sexual acting-out is the desire to be at One.
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If we understood life better, we would allow it to take us where it pleases. Consciousness would unfold faster instead of getting bogged down in fear, time, and ignorance. The Wind of fiery pneuma would rise up the staff of the spine, enLightening the mind. And if I am to have the ability to escape time and duality I must also have conscious knowledge of the death-force (Freud's death wish). This Wind of death is the Holy Ghost or exSpiration, the flipside of the Holy Spirit. Ultimately life and death are the same: the flow and ebb of the same Ocean of consciousness. But to my human ego, trapped in time, life and death look completely different.
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The force of death is equal to the life-stream. Christ knew all about death. When he said, in Luke 12:49, "I have come to bring fire on the earth," he was basically saying that he was bringing down the knowledge of the power of death or destructivity, and how to use it to transcend this lower world of time. Life is water, and John baptizes with it. Death is fire, and John said, "I baptize you with water. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I. He will baptize you with fire." (Matt 3:11).
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Thanatos, lord of death, is a mighty force. Most of us are too scared to learn about it through encounter. But the dark Wind blows always in the background of our lives. This solar emanation from Sol Niger, the alchemical Black Sun, also bloweth where it pleases. After a 30 year battle with death, via depression, I'm starting to understand and wield its power. Expressing it through poetry, painting, writing, etc, helps to integrate this force of disintegration. Its dark Breath causes burning, blackening (depression), de-mentation, mortification, schizophrenic fragmentation. The fire of death baptizes, cleanses, purifies, transforms, transubstantiates, and fuses us out of con-fusion into the fusion of Christic light.
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The tick-tock of tme's twoness is silenced by the heave of Heaven. In John 3:8, Jesus said, "The Wind bloweth wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." Its pleasure lies not in this lower human kingdom (except for expanding consciousness). The calcined Dove, Phoenix divine, transcendent flies the Wind. Home to Heaven where the Son eternal shines, His reSonation shatters my dualistic mindset. Life and death are no-longer different, nor male/female, good~evil, night-day.
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At the apocalyptic end-time Christ/Chronos miraculously ends time! Time turns out to be a powerful spell conjured up by the demiurgic Tetragrammaton, YHWH, the Old Testament ruler whom Christ came to dispell. Thus Jesus says to the Jews in John 8:44, "You belong to your father, the Devil... he is a liar and the father of lies." The Catholic church still worships the O.T. God today, and therefore time, duality, and judgement. Time, in the end, is a lie; a trick of twoness played on the mind by the false God, YHWH.
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Christ, and his fellow gnostics, had faith in a higher God, above time and creation. And there the Wind bloweth where it listeth, transcending earth-time, into the next KingDome of Consciousness. My personal mind is blown away by the pneumatic Wind of a Holy Spiration. The fiery baptismal breath of a mythic and archetypal Dragon burns and blackens my ego. I'm swallowed whole and holy as its eucharistic feast, dissolved to nothingness in the belly of the Beast. Subsumed, consumed, and consummated, I am taken up on the wings of the Dove with "tongues of flame" (Acts 2:2-4).
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